Except for my twice yearly wine fasts just to cleanse the insides so to speak – I actually don’t drink any wine for a full two months out of the year – I have a glass of wine every night. I drink my zin; my husband has his chard. So I’m very glad to know that my red wine is actually good for me.

Read: Wine-Baked Halibut Steaks With Mustard-Fennel Butter

I recently came across a blog called Wine Folly where the blogger – also named Madeline – says everything I wanted to hear about the benefits of red wine:

Red wine drinkers live longer than those who drink other liquors or beers

What's good about red wine?

The polyphenols – powerful antioxidants – in red wine help us stay young. Red wine is more powerful than grape juice, blueberries (which I eat every single morning of my life), and the Acai berry. And the darker the red wine, the higher the amount of antioxidants.

The probiotics in the fermentation of red wine gives us more energy. But, wine drinkers beware. As much as I love red wine I drink in moderation. The limit guidelines are one glass for women and two glasses for men*. (That’s where my wine fasts come in. If I find myself inching up to two glasses a day, I know its time to stop drinking altogether and take a break.)

“Prevention” online also published 8 Reasons to Love Red Wine, again validating that drinking wine is definitely good for my body. Here’s the list:

1.  Lowers cholesterol – the high-fiber Tempranillograpes seems to help lower cholesterol

2.  Protects your heart – “…the antioxidants in red wine-can help keep blood vessels flexible and reduce the risk of unwanted clotting,” says John Folts, PhD, a professor of cardiovascular medicine and nutrition at the University of Wisconsin-Madison.

3.  Controls blood sugar – red grape skins have a compound called resveratrol that may help diabetics regulate blood sugar. Resveratrol may also decrease cholesterol and blood pressure

4.  Boosts your brain – another plus for resveratrol is that it helps keep our brains working properly

5.  Fights off a cold – This must mean the antioxidants in red wine have helped me stay healthy. I hardly ever get a cold.

6.  Stops cancer – scientists have found that resveratrol helps starve cancer-feeding cells

7.  Helps you get slim – Piceatannol, the chemical compound our bodies convert from resveratrol, has been shown in lab tests to prevent the growth of fat cells

8.  Jazzes up dinner – We don’t even need to drink a glass of red wine to reap its benefits. Use it in sauces or other complimentary ingredients – imagine roasting a leg of lamb with herbs and red wine.

The Mayo Clinic also chimes in about the heart healthy components of resveratrol in red wine – just so long as we drink it in moderation. It says:

“Antioxidants in red wine called polyphenols may help protect the lining of blood vessels in your heart…” and “Resveratrol might be a key ingredient in red wine that helps prevent damage to blood vessels, reduces ‘bad’ cholesterol and prevents blood clots.”

The clinic also says that redwine's potential heart-healthy benefits look promising for those who drink moderate amounts of alcohol, including red wine, because of a lower risk of heart disease. However, it emphasizes that more research is needed to determine whether red wine is better for our hearts than other forms of alcohol, such as beer or spirits.

Read: Heart Disease: Bad News, Good News

Another article, “Solid Proof That Red Wine Is Good for You,” which appeared in the Business Insider, also discusses the good properties of red wine. It especially likes how resveratrol – now looking like a miracle ingredient – can help fight diseases associated with aging such as type 2 diabetes, cancer, and Alzheimer’s. This news should be especially reassuring to all the boomers out there.

I also relate to the healthy aspects of red wine. Besides I really love a glass of wine in the evening. It’s relaxing, it goes well with dinner, and it provides a nice moment for my husband and I to share.

*A drink is defined as 12 ounces of beer, 5 ounces of wine, or 1.5 ounces  of 80-proof distilled spirits.

Read this next: Drink in the Benefits of Organic Wine

Photo Credit: dinstereo

The post Wow! Red Wine Is Really Good for Me appeared first on NaturallySavvy.com.

Nora Ephron said it’s good for women to reinvent themselves every 10 years. She also said reinvention seems easier for women than for men and I happen to agree. In fact, seven years after I went back to work full-time I retired and was able to reinvent myself again. I now have a wonderful career as a poet, author, and web journalist – finally doing the work I aspired to do way back in high school and college.

I’ve also experienced other ways we can reinvent ourselves – some through myself and some through people I know. Here are some ways to reinvent yourself after 60!

1. Retire entirely and move to an area of the country geared to the over 55 and 60 crowd – then spend your days playing golf or tennis, gardening, painting, or reading. We have friends who live in Palm Desert, California who love their busy retired social lives.

2. Move to another country – this is on my list. I very much want to live in Italy for six months to a year. I love the people, food, and places that are all easily accessible by train. Uprooting yourself can be a great way to reinvent yourself. As soon as I can get my husband to decide to reinvent himself into a real retired person, we’re going.

3. Get a divorce – this is not on my list, but some friends of mine got a divorce after a 35 year marriage and raising two sons. But the kicker here it that she decided to leave her marriage for a woman. She finally came out as the woman she always was. I understand this happens a lot with women over 60.

4. Get married – I’m not looking to do this either, but I do know some folks who have or who are getting ready to have a late-in-life marriage. One woman was divorced for a long time and she recently found her second husband online. This man is a great catch. Our next-door neighbor whose wife died a couple of years ago also found a match online. They’ve been together for almost a year, and she just moved in with him. I can hear the faint sounds of wedding bells already.

5. Volunteer – I’ve always gotten so much personal value from volunteering. I suggest doing something you’ve always wanted to do, and I guarantee you won’t mind not being paid. The satisfaction of doing good work is worth way more than money. And by the way, being a volunteer or an intern is likely to be a stepping-stone to a paying job in the same organization.

6. Care for aging parents – I know someone who left her job, moved in with her mother, and took care of her during her escalating dementia leading to her death. She ended up writing a wonderful book about it. It sounds like there is always a pony lurking around in our piles of muck.

7. Change your body image – Changing behavior is tantamount to changing your body. Get off of the couch, eat healthy, take a walk, ride your bike, go to the gym to do some resistance training, try some yoga or pilates, and drink lots of water. The chips and beer won’t cut it anymore. A healthy diet and active lifestyle is a great way to reinvent yourself.

8. Become computer and Internet/social media savvy – Get a smart phone, learn how to text, look up stuff on Google, join Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, or Pinterest. You’d be surprised how many other 60 year olds don’t know the first thing about getting around on the Internet. Trying new things is always a great way to reinvent yourself. When I told a woman my age the best way to get her grandson to respond to her was to text him, she looked at me like I was nuts. But she finally learned and now he gets back to her.

9. Write a book – Journaling, taking writing workshops, and going on writing retreats became my therapy after my son’s death. At first I never dreamed that I would have the makings of a book. When one of my instructors and classmates encouraged me to get my story out, I finally took the steps needed to put a book together. It took a long time but in the end I’m glad that I did. I reinvented myself from a technical writer and editor to a published author and poet. I couldn’t be happier.

10. Start a website and blog – Believe me, this will change your life. You’ll be tied to your deadlines – even if they are self-inflicted, and you’ll always be looking for ideas on interesting things to write about. My blog Choices, my first foray into blogging, has been active since 2007. It is a lot of fun and quite a challenge. Now I write regularly for several other websites, including Naturally Savvy. It is why I can call myself a web journalist.

The post 10 Ways to Reinvent Yourself After 60 appeared first on NaturallySavvy.com.

At first, it was daunting, but by the time I retired for the last time in 2010, I was designing and creating the content for several company websites.

I also began to branch out as a creative writer in my spare time. To get my writing out to the public, I created my blog and website. When my memoir, Leaving the Hall Light On was published in 2011, I had to make my presence on the internet more widely known. Even though I posted on my blog regularly, my publisher encouraged me to join Facebook and create both a personal and author page, and sign up for LinkedIn and Twitter. I was told to make my presence known on those sites. Later on, I also joined Pinterest, Goodreads, and Instagram. I also became adept at my new smart phone using it for sending and receiving emails and texts, and taking and posting photos.

When one of my friends complained that her grandson never returned her calls, I encouraged her to text him. Within minutes I taught her how. I maintain if I could learn to use all these resources at my age, so can you.

Here are some simple ways to connect:

Facebook is the epitome of the social networking websites where you can easily connect with your family and friends, share photos and links, send birthday, anniversary, and new baby greetings, and commiserate with your network about their ill health, sadness, and grief. Facebook can also be used to promote your business. I created an author page, sometimes called a fan page, to promote my memoir and other writing work. I have joined many fan pages and groups related to writing, surviving suicide, and mental illness – all subjects that interest me.

Like our Page on Facebook

Twitter is a 140-character message to your friends, family, and business-related contacts. I’m still getting to know the twitter lay of the land. If I like what someone tweets, I’ll retweet it, or if I like a message about someone’s book, I’ll like it or retweet (share) it. When I blog or post on Facebook it automatically links to twitter and my message gets out there – thanks to the person who helped me design my website. I have a Twitter username: @madeline40. All usernames start with the @. Another Twitter feature is the hashtag or # sign. I use those to connect with others in the same kind of discussion. For example, a lot of my tweets have the hashtags: #memoir, #writing, #suicide, #novel, #blog, #amwriting.

Follow us on Twitter

LinkedIn, a professional network, for people looking for jobs and employers looking for people. LinkedIn encourages its users to endorse their followers for their business and creative skills. And it’s always nice, if someone endorses you, for you to endorse them back. LinkedIn connects me with other writers as well. I belong to several LinkedIn writing and memoir groups.

Pinterest is like a visual online poster board. People use Pinterest for (according to http://www.makeuseof.com/): event planning (weddings, parties, dinners, etc.), reading lists, recipe sharing, home furnishing and décor ideas, inspirational quotes, gift ideas, health and fitness, and ideas for holidays. I use Pinterest to let people know about my memoir, share writing tips and quotes, share about my causes and favorite places, post photos of my family and other things I love, and find recipes, hair styles, and latest clothing trends. I currently have twenty-seven pin boards, some on my own and some shared with others with similar interests. I love the visual aspect of Pinterest. The possibilities there are endless.

Check out our Boards on Pinterest

Instagram is another place to post photos and videos. I love seeing other people’s photos, especially the wonderful shots of the young members of my family. Instagram allows its readers to make comments and like the photos they see on this online site.

Follow us on Instagram

Goodreads is all about the books we’ve read; we are reading or would like to read. My favorite aspect is that it keeps track of all the books I’ve read and gives me a list at the end of each year. Goodreads is also a place to leave book reviews.

With more and more people in their 60s, 70s, and even 80s still working, being adept with a computer and knowledge of social media have not only just become good to know but mandatory in the 21st Century.

The post Savvy Over 60: Social Media for Seniors appeared first on NaturallySavvy.com.

So I’ve come up with a list of things I wish I had known when I was much younger; hopefully to give my readers some advance hindsight. I’m sure you’ll think I’ve left some things out. I’m sure I will too. But here is my list for now. Think of it as a work in progress. I’d love your suggestions. Looking back, what situations, events, and decisions that you experienced in your young life could have been helped if you knew everything that you know now?

1. Don’t fret about the small things.

I’ve learned the hard way, through the death of a son, that only the big issues are worth getting upset about. How many times do we “cry over spilled milk,” when we can just get up and wipe up the little mess and be on our way. The same goes for relationships with people. Overlook little mishaps or slights. They are not worth fighting over.

2. It’s only stuff.

If our stuff is lost or stolen, it’s no big deal. It’s only an easily replaceable object. Better yet, don’t hang on to things. Find a worthy charity thrift shop to give them to. Instead hang on tightly to your loved ones and your memories.

3. Only spend time with people you care about.

Life is too short to feel obligated to be with people we don’t care about. Learn to excuse yourself gracefully. Gently fade away. And believe me they won’t miss you. Friends have come and gone in my life. Even people I’ve known for years and years tend to retreat. It happens all the time. You’re true friends will love you and help you no matter what. Stick with them.

4. Writing is healing.

After my son’s death I found writing a healing balm. I could put my grief and tears on the page. There was so much I couldn’t share with anyone. But I could share on the page. After such a loss, writing is healing; other forms of creativity could heal just as well.

5. Say the magic words.

Show your gratitude by saying thank you and you’re welcome for good deeds done to you and for you. I never hesitate and probably say those words so much it’s like a broken record. But I say them sincerely. And now they have become a habit. By the way, my sons were complimented for using those terms even when they were little boys.

Read More: 11 Steps to Manage Negativity

6. Don’t be judgmental. It’s so easy to judge someone we don’t know or hardly know by how he or she looks, what he or she eats, or what he or she wears. Remember you know nothing about them. Everyone is different. Everyone has another way of living. It’s okay to observe, but not to interfere or judge. It may turn out that that person will become your new best friend. Keep an open mind and you’ll like your life much more.

7. Be proactive – go for it 100 percent.

After all, what do we have to lose? We need to learn to toot our own horns, speak up for ourselves, and don’t worry about losing. If we want to get anywhere in life – in business or socially, in our love lives and in our friendships – we need to give it our all. If we don’t have confidence in ourselves and our abilities, who will?

8. You’re never too old to learn something new.

I know from my own experience it’s easy to learn something new. I was a technical writer turned creative writer after the age of sixty, and I’m the proud author of a published memoir. I also have become very agile on the Internet and social media in my old age. You should keep the door open to new things, new friends, and new experiences. That’s what will keep you young.

Read More: What Playing Tennis Again Has Taught Me About Myself 

9. Life is short; eat dessert first.

A dear friend who I took aerobics with said that all the time. Sadly, she did indeed die young. What a lesson that was for me. It’s all about getting out there, not putting things off until you can afford them, and enjoying your life. Laugh a lot, dance, and hug and kiss your loved ones. Too many of us end up physically impaired as we age, and then it’s too late.

10. Wear sunscreen. Along with protecting our skin (I sure wish sunscreen existed when I was in my forties), we need to eat healthy and exercise to stay fit both physically and mentally. It needs to become a daily habit. I just had a bone density test, and at age seventy-five, my doctor says my bones are terrific. That was a goal I worked hard for, for the last twenty years or so. I didn’t want to turn out all hunched over like my osteoporosis-ridden mother. Take if from me. It’s worth it to take care of your bodies.

The post 10 Things I Wish I Knew Before I Turned 40 appeared first on NaturallySavvy.com.

We filled a bucket with tennis balls and biked over to the courts – no one drove on this tiny coral island – and every day we’d practice ground strokes, serves, overheads, and volleys for an hour. After about six months we started to play games, and pretty soon we found other women to play doubles with. I progressed to the point that I entered a few tournaments – at the lowest levels – and got on the challenge ladder.

Read more: Savvy Over Sixty-The Secrets of a Long Marriage

When our family finally returned to California, I could honestly say, I am a tennis player. With that I joined a tennis club, and I started to play on a women’s league, playing against women in other clubs in our area.

That went on until I went back to a full-time job. At that point I had to make a decision – it was either working out at the gym or playing tennis. I opted for gym workouts because they took less time and I didn’t have to find a partner to workout with. Sure, I played tennis sporadically, even took lessons once in a while, but one day – almost sixteen years ago, I quit playing tennis entirely, except when my son Ben, who teaches tennis, would agree to hit with me.

Getting Back Into Tennis at My Age Isn’t Easy

The last time Ben and I were on the court, he confirmed that I still knew how to hit the ball, and he encouraged me to get a new racket and find some people to play with. Easier said then done, I thought. Who would want to play with me – a 75-year old tennis has-been?

Then I saw this announcement in our local newsletter: Are you 55 or over and want to play tennis but you either haven't played in a while, can't find a game, or think you are too rusty? Come on out with Coach Annie this winter and brush up on your skills.

I thought, this perfectly describes me, and I signed up – immediately. But once I got on the court I found that playing again wasn’t as easy as signing up. I learned that: 

• My body doesn’t move very fast anymore, so I miss a lot of balls that I used to get.
• My body isn’t as resilient as it used to be.
• I tire and get injured easily. I hurt my the upper back of my left thigh the second time out and it still hurts two weeks later.
• I need to relearn a lot of the basics: watch the ball, prepare for the shot, hit the ball at the center of the racket, toss the ball high. enough to get it over the net when serving.
• I have to keep reminding myself to stay focused and stop berating myself when I miss a shot. I need to stop that or I’ll miss the next and the next ball after that.

Read more: Savvy Over Sixty-How I Relieve Stress

Besides Getting a Tennis Refresher Course I Learned Some New Things About Myself

• I’m content with only getting a good shot once in a while.
• I’m grateful for the generosity of my classmates for opening their community of aging tennis players to me.
• I’m more realistic about what I can and cannot do on the court.
• I’m very happy to be back on the court. I didn’t realize how much I missed being out there.

In the old days I was very competitive and critical of my team players and our opponents. And I was arrogant enough to feel I could do no wrong on the court. Not anymore. This endeavor has made me a lot more humble about the limits of my tennis playing skills. With my new attitude I think I’ll have a much better chance of successfully bringing tennis back in my life again.

The post Savvy Over 60: What Playing Tennis Again Has Taught Me About Myself appeared first on NaturallySavvy.com.

Plus we had absolutely no money between us on our wedding day. He was paying alimony to his first wife and paying off a loan for an investment he had made – that turned out to be a wise move. I had recently been laid off from my job of seven years. And, initially, we lived in Riverside, California. Since I was new to that area, I spent much of my time at home alone and depressed. It was there that I had my first panic attacks and my second miscarriage (my first was during my former marriage). These times were so hard that we had to use my unemployment checks to pay for our weekly groceries, and our once-in-a-while, a going-out-for-dinner treat was Del Taco.

Why I Decided to Divorce

The way we started out totally belied my reasoning when I decided to get a divorce way back in 1965: I wanted to find a second husband who could take care of me better than I could take care of myself. I also felt I had a better chance of finding happiness without my first husband than with him.

I realize divorcing was a gutsy move back in those days, but my former husband and I could do it cleanly and easily. We didn’t own a home and we had no children together. I suspect that if I hadn’t had a miscarriage while I was married to him, the outcome would have been very different. As it stands now, I never saw the man again since we divorced after three and a half years of marriage, although we’ve spoken and written to each other a few times in the last fifty years.

What’s the Secret Glue that Kept Us Together

I wonder now what has been the glue that has kept us together. Is it that we were both married before? We had practice runs, so to speak. Is it that Bob and I sowed all our wild oats while we were in between marriages? Is it because we were both in our thirties when we tied the proverbial knot? Here’s what’s true for us – none on the list should be a secret:

• We are in love. And I shouldn’t look for anything more concrete than that. We love each other just as much as the day we fell in love – three years before we married.
• We give each other space and accommodate each other’s needs – without a hint of jealousy. Early on he joined in, in my desire to have children. And he agreed to raise them in my faith because he wasn’t as ingrained in his as I. Now, he gives me space to exercise and write and go off for days to writing workshops, and I never complain about his golf dates or his dinners out with friends. We are independent, yet we spend an enormous amount of time together. In the last several years we’ve worked together professionally many times, and even that doesn’t get in our way.
• We respect each other’s time and expertise. We joke about it, but Bob really has been an advocate for the advancement of women in our society. He’s never denigrated my place in the home or at work.
• We created a sharing style. When we first had children and I was mostly at home – except for working part-time as a real estate agent, we agreed that what he and I did during the day was equal. We shared equally in the work caring for our children and home in the evenings and weekends.
• We both always brought in an income, and have the same values about spending and saving.

Read More:  How Love Can Improve Mental Health

Our Marriage Also Survived A Great Tragedy

This glue was so strong that our marriage also survived the death of our older son. I was driven to deal with the pain, suffering, and loss, and he was willing to wait until I got better. We also realized our grieving processes were very different. We were patient and gave each other a lot of space to grieve in our own ways.

These are the components that kept us going these 48 years. I suspect this glue will stick for many more.

[Editor's Note: Madeline recently announced she is publishing a memoir. You can learn more about it on her blog.]

The post Savvy Over Sixty: The Secrets of a Long Marriage appeared first on NaturallySavvy.com.

I wasn’t looking for consulting work when I retired in April 2010 at the age of seventy. I was intent on working as a creative writer rather than a technical writer and proposal manager. For me it was either now or never.

And I succeeded. In the last four and a half years I had my memoir published, I’ve written for several websites, including Naturally Savvy, I’ve written poems for two books of photography, and co-edited three poetry anthologies. Now I’m currently knee deep in revising my first novel.

Read more about foods and herbs to boost creativity

So really I have no time to work a day job, as they like to say.

Actually, in the last couple of years I worked a couple of short-term consulting jobs – helping a group of engineers write proposals to the U.S. government. And it was easy going back. I found that once I walked in the door I got into the swing of the work immediately. It was like I’d never been gone. Of course, after doing the kind of work I did for almost thirty years, I shouldn’t have had any doubt that I could still perform.

Now, I’m about to embark on another consulting job. My husband – who is almost 78-years old – was asked by a large aerospace corporation (the same company we both retired from) to lead a proposal to win a government contract worth many millions of dollars. And he persuaded me to work with him. You probably think that’s a recipe for disaster, but not for us. Since we’ve led many winning proposals together in the past, the company was very willing to bring me on board as well.

This is long and tedious work.

He has been working with the team doing preliminary proposal work for the last several months. I will start on January 5. And I expect we’ll be at it for three to six months – the time it takes to plan, write, produce, and deliver the proposal. If post proposal activities that could include oral presentations are necessary, my job could last as long as a year.

Read more about office environments and if they are making you sick

I hope not in this case. Even though I’m willing to take on this assignment I don’t want to put all of my creative writing activities aside – including my blog posts, my contributions to my various websites, and my poetry writing – for such a long time. However, no matter how busy I get on the proposal, I’m intent on journaling as usual every day – it’s my prescription for venting any problems that go on in a day – and working bit by bit on my novel. I’m determined to find the time to do my day job and my creative writing.

My skills are still needed

The nice thing about this whole situation is that I still have skills very much needed in the aerospace industry. And it’s great that they don’t consider age when they are searching for experts. In the past I’ve mentored many young folks I’ve worked with, and I’m hoping I can do the same on this job. It would be wonderful if I can teach others to do the kind of work I’ve done for so many years.

However, until then, I’m willing to keep going back to work in an environment where agism doesn’t apply. Besides I earn a lot more as technical writer than I’ve ever earned as a creative writer. I urge all my writing friends out there to consider it.

Image: Jenelle Wolny

The post Savvy Over Sixty: Agism Doesn’t Apply appeared first on NaturallySavvy.com.

So I was interested to read a recent New York Times article titled “How Exercise May Protect Against Depression,” given that “even mild, repeated stress can contribute to the development of depression and other mood disorders in animals and people.” Mood disorders, mania, and depression run in my family, so I need to actively make sure to lower my stress level.

Read more about sustained stress changes the brain

I’ve been exercising almost all my life, and I do it every day – first thing in the morning. Exercise was especially useful after my son Paul’s death fifteen years ago. That that kind of outlet kept me sane then, and it still does. That is, at least for a while. For example, I exercised this morning – forty-minutes of cardio followed by a little iron pumping and some Yoga stretches, causing my tinnitus sounds to almost disappear. Now after several hours at my computer, working at revising my novel, the sound has raised considerably.

So I think. Should I stop and go out for a walk? Sometimes I do. Instead I stayed in today and practiced walking meditation, walking up and back the long hall outside of my home office, breathing deeply and counting as I go.

My daily journaling practice helps reduce my stress as well. I turned to journaling regularly in 1993 after my son Paul was diagnosed bipolar, and I continued on after his suicide death in 1999. Journaling became my therapy. Keeping my fingers moving across the page was both an obsession and a healing balm. It gave me a way to organize my fears, pain, and thoughts. As a result I have become a huge proponent of journaling as a way to heal and ease stress. Right now I’m participating in a 30-day digital journaling challenge. That’s easy for me since I’ve been journaling on my computer rather than in a notebook for about fourteen years.

Even the physical act of writing is helpful. When I used a pen I wrote until my hand cramped. Now I type, sometimes pounding my fingers on my computer’s keyboard. It really helps. Also when I wrote by hand I found that I couldn’t keep up with my thoughts. Just today I typed over 500 words in a matter of minutes writing on the computer. I just tap away with no stopping for editing. It’s total stream of consciousness. My fingers seem to fly in time with what I have on my mind.

I’m especially reminded during the hard times in my life that no one is immune to the stressors of life. Whether it’s family problems, health struggles, chronic pain – physically or mentally, job issues, grief for relatives and friends who have died, or worries of any kind, we need a way to find relief – especially if there’s no one to talk to.

The page is there anytime for our tears, rants, sorrow, complaints, thoughts and ideas. The main thing is the page is always ready without judgment about anything we have to say. During my hardest times, I learned the page never told me what to do, it never told me how to handle my grief, and most important it never told me how long to grieve. It will be just as forgiving for you

In case you’ve never tried journaling, here are a few tips:

• Write in long hand in a notebook or type on a blank page on your computer.
• Don’t worry if you’re not a writer.
• Don’t worry about writing at specific time of the day.
• Keep your fingers moving for at least five to ten minutes at a time. In fact, even if you can’t think of anything to write, write down, “I’m keeping my fingers moving,” for as long as it takes for something to come to mind.
• Make lists of accomplishments or things you want to do in your day as you write.
• Build your confidence by declaring who and what you are; e.g., I am healthy, I am creative, I have gray hair and I’m proud of it, I lost five pounds, I like what I see when I look in the mirror – write a little about one of those declarations.
• And if you’re particularly creative, include pictures on your page and add quotes and clippings so that your journal becomes more like a scrapbook than a book of plain writing.

Read more about planning 'me time' to reduce stress

Just remember, everyone we know has good and bad stuff going on in their lives. Everyone has stressor. And everyone needs to keep the stress in check. I’ve learned that exercise and journaling are good ways to come to grips with my stress.

Image: Hope

The post How I Relieve Stress appeared first on NaturallySavvy.com.

First of all I would say how sorry I am for your loss. My heart is with you. And even though I’ve been through the suicide death of my son, there is no way that I can know how you feel. Everyone is different. Everyone has different stories. But we can share our stories and maybe derive some solace from that. And please know I am here for you. You can call on me anytime – day or night – just to talk, just to listen, just so you know someone is here for you.

And even though this is still so new and raw for you, I encourage you to take care of yourself – and let others take care of you. Go for a walk, go to the gym, eat healthy. Eat a bowl of chicken soup. Get a massage or haircut. Buy something new to wear. Try to do anything to make yourself look better because if you look better you’ll begin to feel better. It’s all a façade in the beginning. It’s like playacting. But pretty soon the acting becomes real.

Read more about Madeline's tragedy survival tool kit

And feel free to reject any or all of these suggestions because grief and how we grieve is so personal.

It’s always okay to cry and it’s okay to laugh. It’s okay to wallow in bed under the covers when your grief overtakes you, and it’s okay to go to a funny movie and laugh your head off. I didn’t allow myself any kind of happiness for so long afterward on purpose – because I didn’t want to stop feeling the pain. I didn’t want to betray my son. I felt if I stopped feeling the pain it meant I didn’t love him and miss him enough. Then I realized I wasn’t betraying my dead son by laughing and enjoying myself. It didn’t mean I wasn’t feeling the pain, it didn’t mean I was through grieving, even though some people thought after only a month or two I should have been through grieving already.

Don’t let anyone tell you how long you should grieve.

I can also tell you some other things that worked for me:

• I didn’t make any big changes in my life. People encouraged us to sell our house and move right away. I thought about it, but I just couldn’t. Going through and making decisions about all the things – especially his things – would have been much too daunting and stressful. And now I’m so glad we stayed. We had more happy experiences in our house than sad ones. There was no reason to run away.
• I indulged in magical thinking. My memoir is called Leaving the Hall Light On . I left the hall light on while he was alive. I kept it on after his death so he’d know how to find his way back if he needed to.
• I discovered divisions: entertainment, work, reading, traveling, a creative project.
• Or just do nothing. Do whatever works for you. I also quit some activities because they just didn’t interest me or seem relevant anymore.
• Some of my friends left. But I made new ones – people who have been in my shoes and those who are sensitive enough to just be with whom I am now – not how I was before. I found out that I live in the new normal now since my son’s death.
• I took on many activities to keep my mind busy with other thoughts: meditation, writing, going on a retreat, walking on the beach, working out, going back to the job I had retired from some years earlier.
• I also found a cause – we set up an endowment, now I volunteer. I want to help erase the stigma of mental illness and prevent suicide. And I while I do this work I never hesitate to use the suicide word. It needs to be out there. It needs to be spoken. That’s the only way we will ever be able to help prevent it.
• I also found how important it is to write down my memories of my son. I didn’t want to forget anything about him. I kept some of his things as mementos: his candlesticks, his records and tapes, his books, his Olympic pin collection, his piano. I also started a collection of Buddha statues because I thought he was a Buddha kind of guy.

Read more about life lessons learned on a health retreat

So do things that make you feel comfortable. What I did seemed to work for me. But I know none of these things will bring my son back. I still feel a pain in my gut every time I remind myself he is really gone. And I still feel guilt and regret. Be prepared for ups and downs. Sometimes you’ll be taken totally by surprise. And you’ll always have those feelings of guilt. The “what if?” thoughts will never go away. Just try to be here now. Accept those as just thoughts and live now.

Image: Geoff LMV

The post What to Say After a Suicide Death appeared first on NaturallySavvy.com.

As I’ve aged I’ve learned not to fret about stuff I used to obsess over when I was younger:

• Dying my hair
• Putting on makeup first thing in the morning
• Plucking my eyebrows every day
• Shopping for something new to wear to the next event

The things I do stress about are:

• How my son and daughter-in-law are doing
• My husband’s health
• Making time to write every day
• Avoiding foods with dairy and gluten
• Taking my daily vitamins
• Keeping my skin moisturized

Read more about what your skin says about your health

Also, doing my daily workout is very high on my priority list. I began a regular exercise program in my late twenties and early thirties, starting with yoga during my first pregnancy; in the ‘80s I worked out with Jane Fonda on video; I played tennis almost every day for years; I ran my first 10K at age forty. Exercise became a habit and a way of life. Exercise was a lifesaver after the death of my oldest son in 1999.

Even so, almost every year I go through the same self-questioning: Should I keep on with this routine? Isn’t it time to quit already? Aren’t I too old for this? Shouldn’t I take a day off once in a while? Wouldn’t I be more comfortable in a muumuu, rather than worrying about pouring my girlish figure into tight jeans? And every year, I say, “nah.” This year is no different.

I really don’t have any reasons to slow down. I like the benefits. I’m fit. I don’t need high blood pressure or cholesterol-lowering medications; I don’t have aches and pains, I have good balance, my weight is normal, and my body fat index is ideal. My main health concerns right now are tinnitus and my lessened ability to hear.

My workout routine includes cardio, usually on the elliptical trainer, treadmill, or in a spinning (stationary bicycling) class. I participate in Pilates at least once a week, Yoga stretching after each cardio session, and weight training once or twice a week. I also recently hired a personal trainer. The best thing about her is that she’s aging like me – she’s in her late sixties and the perfect trainer for someone my age. She knows what moves I should do so as not to hurt myself.

But she’s no miracle worker. No matter how much I work out at the gym or how many walks I take along the beach, I can't get rid of my sagging skin. No matter how many weights I lift, my inner thighs jiggle, I have kimono upper arms, and even the skin on my otherwise bony lower arms just hangs there with no place to go. I have learned to live with it.

I’m also a firm believer that pampering helps keep me feeling healthy and younger than I am. I have facials, botox injections to take away frown and forehead lines every four or five months, and I make regular appointments for manicures, pedicures, and massages. I use lots of anti-aging creams and moisturizers and always wear sunscreen when I’m outside.

Read more about natural sunscreens

My hair is another story. About eight years ago I decided to go natural. I stopped full dye-jobs many years ago, but for a long time I had low lights streaked in to show off some of my gray. Now, I’m more gray than dark and I wear my hair long – either naturally wavy or blow-dried and ironed flat. I’ve decided I don’t like the look of other gray (or blue)-haired old ladies with coiffed thinning short hair. My long hair has versatility.

I also constantly watch my diet, which consists of lots of greens, fish, nuts – I love peanut butter – and berries. Since I have digestive problems, I cut out dairy many years ago and took away gluten products about two years ago. Plus I haven’t eaten red meat for thirty-five years. I think these dietary restrictions have helped keep my body in shape along with keeping my digestion under control. I am a firm believer in taking daily vitamins to give me the nutrients lacking in my diet. Calcium and exercise help me remain free of osteoporosis.

I think one more thing keeps me youthful both physically and mentally: I take daily hormone replacement in very small dosages. My doctors agree that this regimen helps me feel and look better. And it boosts my mood. I believe I’m doing the best I can to combat the effects of my aging body, so there’s no reason to stop now.

Image: SalFalko

The post Savvy Over Sixty: Aging is Different at Seventy-Four appeared first on NaturallySavvy.com.